My dad chose to let the girls go live with their mother. I have sooooo many feelings about this. On one hand, my dad is not the right choice for them. Since Denny passed away he has been severely depressed, drinking and he's into drugs really bad now. He's losing his business, his house, and a repo-man showed up today to take his truck (at our house, he doesn't live here anymore). So obviously, he's just not able to care for them right now. Tabatha has made great strides in her parenting - I don't care for her living situation at all, but I do think she is financially, emotionally, capable of parenting now. But in my own way I just still think they should be here with us. There are things I won't ever say to the people involved but I wish I could.

To Tabatha I would remind her of how horribly she screwed up parenting the first time around. I want to scream at her, "why are you taking them now? I am the one who held them when they were sick, checked their closets when they were scared, took them to the dr and made sure they stayed healthy. I held them while they cried for you, I reassured them of their worth when you did everything in your power to make them feel worthless to you." I have all their baby pictures, Easter, Christmas, every celebration for them for the last 4 years and I want them to have copies but it's gonna be hard to put that together and give them to Tabatha, because I feel like being selfish and saying "come to me when you want to see these years of your life cause SHE knew nothing about them." But I'm better than that, I guess. Or at least I know I should be.

To my dad I want to tell him how miserably he failed the girls. At least we had our mom, these girls had ONLY him (legally) and he FAILED them. He showed them nothing useful, he was never there for them, and he will be contributing to their poor expectations of men for the rest of their lives. He was a miserable example, allowing himself to be arrested in front of them, endangering their lives to drink and drive, and just in general not taking very good care of them.

To Eric I want to scream and run in the other direction with his baby that is going to be born next month. He DOES NOT deserve more children. How is this fair? I know I've said it before, and it's redundant now, but really, how is this fair? He still has no job, he doesn't care either, he's hopped up on drugs and alcohol himself and doesn't care enough about his baby or the girls to stop. He's such a loser that TABATHA was able to get the girls back. He is bringing Dad down with him, now I know my dad is supposed to be the adult here, but my brother has hooked him up with the drugs and led him to this lifestyle.

I guess I'm just angry. I think that the girls should have been with us, I just want to see them to grow up to reach their maximum potential and I just don't see that happening. Tabatha originally said the girls could still go to church with my mom but hasn't showed up to drop them off so they could go in weeks. And I want to invite the girls to Justin's birthday party but I don't want Tabatha's new little family there. I don't mind her, it's her "stepdaughters" I don't want there. (Tabatha is like 22 and she has 17 and 18 year old teeny-bopper step-daughters, yuck.)

Anyhow, I sure hope everything works out for the girls' sake. This sucks.