I was just thinking...

about Kara's post (look I think I made a link!!!!) about dishes and though....

"I wonder what chores other people have their kids do?"

Jakey does unloading and reloading the dishwasher and setting the table for dinner. He also takes out all trash, cleans his bathroom a few times a week and makes his bed - and picks up his room mostly. Sometimes I have him vacuum here and there or put away some laundry - those aren't all the time things though. Oh and he feeds and waters the dog (I didn't want it, I'm not feeding it!)

Justin picks up his toys in the living room, removes all toys from the tub when Jakey is cleaning the bathroom, makes his bed, and puts his and Jakey's clothes in the hamper (His contribution to cleaning their room).

Sometimes I wonder if Justin needs more to do or Jakey needs less or if they're about at age appropriate? I've been having Jakey help with dinner a little more - like cutting the lettuce for the salad or stirring something on the stove for me, or putting biscuits on a pan for me to throw in the oven. I kind of feel like I will have failed them if they go on their missions or get married or go away to college or something and they can't do any of these things.

So, what chores do your kids do?

James Cameron and Jesus' Tomb

I don't have cable, so I won't be watching the Discovery Channel March 4, but what? He found Jesus' bones - interesting since Jesus is currently using them. Since when does finding ONE family's bones constitute as - the family of Christ? I mean whatever tests they do can show these bones are maybe 2,000 years old, DNA tests prove that this family is related, imagine that - people buried together being related to one another, who'da thunk it? And this disproves Christianity how? It kinda just feels like James Cameron is trying to ride the coattails of The Davinci Code success.

Let's talk American Idol

Ok Sanjaya...dude, he has GOT to go. WHAT was that?!?! Yeah, wow. Jared, mmmmm that boy was CUTE with his whole hand thingy he did! And Chris Sligh, really surprised me! Sundance too! Probably my two favorites tonight where that first guy (what is his name!?! He's got a cute wife and kid too! - looked this up too - Phil Stacey!) and Jared, followed really closely by Chris Sligh, Sundance, and the beat boxing guy. The Justin Timberlake-look-a-like sang well too. Overall, Sanjaya...not so good...him and that former back up dancer guy (Brandon Rogers, I looked it up) are my guesses to go home on Thursday. If I didn't mention them, they weren't particularly memorable for me. :)

So, what did you think?

MMMMM, Brownies!

I went all out tonight! I made baked lemon pepper chicken with cheese on top, ceasar salad, and shells and white cheddar. For dessert I made brownies!! I out did myself I tell ya! Best dinner in a long time, by far!

I need some help, the other day when I was at Vons I bought like 20 lbs of hamburger meat because it was on sale 50% off plus some other special sale/discount thingy (so said 20 lbs only cost me like $15) Anyhow we generally don't eat very much hamburger, like maybe 5 lbs a month - if that. But seeing as how we have 20 lbs of it, it just makes sense to use it right? We're not huge chili fans, that's a once a month - if that type thing for us. Spaghetti? Once or twice a month. Beef in our tacos? We prefer chicken but now and then that's fine. Meatloaf? Ok I just dry heaved. I like it ok but yeah not so much, like once or twice a year is more than enough. So WHAT in the world do you make with hamburger meat??????? Give me some ideas people! :)

We're Moving :(

It's a long, depressing story as to why, but we're moving. I'm upset because I really do love this house, but I guess the more we look around at our options it's ok. The most important things in this house are coming with us, eachother. :) My mom and Kevin are trying to get me to see the "ok" side of this and we went and looked at an apartment yesterday. I don't know if I can truly give up my backyard but we looked at an apartment complex that has a park and we will get the apartment right next to it, it also has a gym, clubhouse, 2 pools, hot tubs, etc. Seems like a really nice place. The 3 bedroom is almost as big as the house we have now...still seems a bit cramped though. Our other options are a housing tract over by some friends of ours that was built in the late 80's - over there we'll be in an actual house - smallish backyards, but almost all have pools, and right around the same price range as we're in now. So we have several options. We'd most like to stay in our ward - and likely we will.

Anyhow I spent the better part of yesterday crying and my nose was a mess last night so I took some benadryl and went to bed and man do I feel better this morning! I got a good night's sleep and now I'm ready to house hunt and start organizing this house for packing.

I'm such a slacker!

I just read Kara's blog and she just hit 300 posts! This is my 90th :) LOL

Justin's completely potty trained! As in wore-underwear-under-his-suit-to-church-and-had-NO-accidents which is of course the pinnacle of Potty Training success, right? :) It is! I'm so glad he's fully PT'ed.

The other exciting thing is that the boys got bunk beds this weekend. We put them up yesterday afternoon and all day Justin was trying to go to bed early LOL - so Justin slept in his bed last night (so did Jakey) and it was the earliest AND easiest we've ever gotten them to bed. This morning I told them to clean their room and they did it willingly because they LOVE the way their room is now with their bunkbeds.

I about had a heart attack this morning, Kevin went to withdraw cash to pay our car payment because we are out of checks and our card was declined, checked the balance we had more than enough, tried again, declined....back and forth and back and forth and finally I called them, they said that they weren't even showing us trying to withdraw - turns out - the ATM was broken! Yeah I about died of a heart attack because the ATM was broken!

Well the boys swear they're going to die of starvation if I don't make their lunch - so I must go do it and get them down for quiet time before they think they can start Curious George again - oh yes we bought Curious George the movie this weekend....seen it like 48927824823784 times and I am soooooooooo over Curious George! Blah! Justin is obsessed! Ok lunch....later!

It's FRIDAY!

Which means......PARK DAY! Woohoo! I love Fridays, I love hanging out with all my friends (well most of them) and watching our kids play and talking and talking and talking. Oh and snacking and snacking too. Remember - calories consumed at the park - DON'T COUNT! I was afraid all day yesterday that it wouldn't stop raining so that we could go but it's fairly sunny out there and they're not predicting anymore rain til Sunday - so yay!! It's slightly chilly (50's) so we'll be wearing jackets and boots for sure...but oh well! We'll be out! Yay!

Kevin's off today too - he put in 20 hours yesterday. We're going to make those ribs again for dinner tonight and have more friends over and play card/board games. I'm going to get the new Curious George movie for the kids to watch tonight while we play.

It's gonna be a great day - anyday where you spend 90% of it with good friends laughing - is a GREAT day! :) And today I'm even going to try to remember to take a few pics with my buds...gotta preserve those memories! :)

I think I may have underestimated Justin, I think he has been ready for PT for a while and both of us were just too lazy to do it! It started yesterday with some quarters for the ice cream man. He wanted an ice cream and I told him I'd give him a quarter towards it if he peed in the potty (or pooped), he did well, then he had an accident and lost some, and then in the middle of the night woke up to go to the bathroom, woke up first thing this morning and asked for underwear and hasn't had a single accident all day! At naptime he refused a diaper, and I told him if he has an accident I will take away a quarter but I'd let him try it - he woke up to poop and pee mid-nap, he's back asleep now - DRY! No accidents at all today...and no reminding him to go - he just does it. Ahhhh, finally! Now I do have a HUGE box of diapers I just bought that he likely isn't going to use LOL, oh well MONEY WELL WASTED I SAY!

I didn't want to go there but....

....seriously! I am sick to death of "news" shows being ALL ABOUT Anna Nicole Smith. Seriously! Ok, while I think it's sad she died (for her baby) she sort of led a lifestyle that contributed to it, it's really not THAT shocking that she died! Today's coverage on Today of the hearing about who should get custody of her body was the real "over the top" thing for me....This judge in Florida is an idiot! He makes rude comments all the time, refers to the witnesses and attorney's in unprofessional ways. It's amazing he's still the judge! I don't know but to me it seems very "open and shut" she bought plots in the Bahamas - that shows her intention of being buried there - as long as she can legally be buried there (since she isn't a resident) then SEND HER THERE! DUH! If she cannot legally be buried there - then California (her actual residence!) seems the next logical step! And Howard K. Stern isn't doing her any favors by keeping her mother away from her in death. Having a brother who was sometimes estranged from our mother and I who did NOT support his drugged out lifestyle - I can guarantee that in death ANS no longer "hates" her mother - she's probably thinking, "Oh crap, she was right! Drugs will kill me!" Obviously ANS didn't want to be buried in Texas, so that really shouldn't be an option. But seriously I have ZERO years in law school, and I feel a better judge of this case - SEND HER BACK TO THE BAHAMAS IF SHE CAN LEGALLY BE BURIED THERE AND GET THIS "NEWS" OFF CNN, MSNBC, FOX, AND ALL THE OTHER "NEWS" CHANNELS!

I loved that today Matt Lauer said something to the effect of, "why don't we know who the baby's daddy is? Maury Povich would have figured it out in two days!" EXACTLY, swab the baby dang it! Although at this point they're going to have to DNA test every man in the WORLD to figure out who that baby's daddy is! (Including men already in the grave!)

The moral of the story - Drugs are bad, wills are good.

Now that I have WASTED my BLOGSPACE with this person, back to my regularly scheduled blogging!

The time is now....

.....2:49 pm pacific standard time....and we have DRY underwear. :)

So, we were only able to wear our winter clothes for a short time this year! It was fairly warm until late November, then terribly cold through January...it's February now though and 70 degrees most days - so I think it's safe to locate our capri's and tee's again. Sandals too. I'm kind of sad my winter clothes didn't really get a work out this year - barely got them out and it is time to put them away. But it is beautiful outside.

The mornings are still a little chilly - in the 50's usually. So Kevin turns on the heater - I don't know why - and by 7 am when I wake up I'm ready to pass out from the heat! I turn it off as quickly as possible and then open doors and windows to cool the house down again! He's a nut.

So we've come up with our "plan of action" for potty training Justin. He gets 1 pair of underwear per day, if he pees or poops in them - he goes back into diapers and gets to try again tomorrow. If he makes it to bathtime (at 6:30) then he gets a Chuck E. Cheese token - when he has 30 we'll go to Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't think he'd get it because it's kind of elaborate - but he totally did. He peed and pooped (glare) in his underwear yesterday right before his nap (after using the toilet 3 or 4 times before that) and when I took away his underwear he said, no token? I told him nope, he could try again tomorrow, and he said ok. Then at bathtime he said underwear tomorrow? When I told him yes he said, ok I'll potty in the toilet for my token at bathtime tomorrow. So I think he does get it. We're making a bag (paper lunch bag) for him to keep them in today (he's going to decorate it). Hopefully he'll be potty trained soon. I just need to find something to settle him enough to actually use the bathroom when he's sitting on the toilet he's usually a little anxious and worked up over it....maybe it just comes with time?

Today we're gonna finish up some units of Jakey's school work and I'm going to work with Justin on his shapes....he's got circle down, next we're gonna do square. I think that if he gets his shapes down he'll start to be able to print letters.

I feel like I need to "Spring Clean" too and get rid of clothes that don't fit the boys so that I can see how many shorts/tee shirts they have and we have. Definately something I need to get started on....I should also get those pics uploaded....anyhow what am I doing sitting here?! I gotta get stuff done! :)

Being a grownup stinks sometimes.

The worst part about the unemployment is getting back in the groove. Paychecks are starting to trickle in, and unemployment (from the weeks he was unemployed) and it's like "what do we want to start on?" The money we owe relatives? We arranged all of our bills, kept up with the situation, so no one bill in particular is "behind" per se, but they could all use some payments LOL, but it's like where do you even start? Thank goodness for our family, in particular our mothers - Kevin's mom who has so little herself has amazed me with her giving and sharing with us during our time of need. Very inspirational. My mom gave, not necessarily always willingly or happily or with true charity LOL (probably much like my charity LOL) but she did it and saved us a ton of stress and money in late fees, and kept us in food and electricity.

First and foremost, tithing. Seriously, I have a stronger testimony of it now than ever. You NEED those blessings, we NEEDED them. We could NOT have survived without them. This taught me too that we need to be more charitable because we really aren't. Kevin's mom defintely struggles and is in no way financial secure, and she totally bent over backwards to help us by little things like buying medicine when I was sick, or meat when it was on sale, or filling up our gas tank when it was low....just these little things to be supportive. Financially it doesn't even add up to much - but her help kept us from going under, and it taught me alot about service and charity.

Overall though, we were definately blessed through this whole ordeal. Our families came through for us, and we're ok. We're better than ok....I'm so glad too, because there was a little while there where I was really struggling - and just as I started to lose the faith that it would all be ok - it suddenly was.

"All I want for St. Patrick's Day is my two front teeth!"

That's what Jakey is singing now that his two front teeth came out yesterday! LOL He says that Christmas is too far away and he doesn't want to look silly til Christmas so he hopes they come in by St. Patrick's Day. The toothfairy left him $4 (in ones) and a letter to remind him to brush his teeth! I'll upload pics of him and his missing teeth and Justin's birthday party in a little bit during Justin's nap.

Yesterday I went to my mom's house and cleaned and did all that stuff that she wanted me to do for her, so today we're staying home and working on the house and school. (Well and yesterday was a school holiday).

We need to blast through a ton of subjects so today we're going to do ALL Math, tomorrow ALL Language Arts, Thursday - all science, and Friday - all history....LOTS of lessons, at least to get through to the end of the unit we are currently working on....I just want to get a ton done so we can get closer to finishing this semester (we're still on 1st semester and it's actually 2nd semester.)

Not much new and exciting is going on here - Kevin doesn't care too much for the schedule of his new job, but the pay and work have not been bad at all - so he's content. Yep, so not much new or exciting right now....I'll be back later with pictures!

Boy am I stuffed!

I just got done cleaning up all the mess from Justin's birthday party! Whew! Isn't it silly how we clean our houses when we're going to have a bunch of people over and then they come, the house gets destroyed, and we're back to square one? LOL Well I don't know, my house had gotten pretty bad during my depression over Kevin's work so I think even through the remaining mess (which isn't much really) it's a 1000X's better than it was before the pre-party cleaning.

Anyhow, Justin got his Diego bike...I took a video of him as he walked in from church this afternoon and saw it, he just kept saying "That's weird! That's weird!" it took him a little bit but he warmed up to the bike, it looked really big, but once he got on it it fits him perfectly and he can cliimb up onto it himself so he really did well with it! We even had to raise the training wheels already a bit because he was doing so good, I think he's going to get them removed before he's potty trained even! LOL (I did remind him though that 3 year olds with Diego bikes go potty in the toilet, we'll see if he lives up to that! LOL)

My mom and Kevin's mom and her family came, and then our good friends from our ward came with all their kids - at the height of the party we had 19 people crammed in our house (it started to rain once everyone got here). Kevin made ribs - he did this interesting thing where he put them in the crockpot with onions, garlic, and Dr. Pepper for several hours (while we were at church) and then pulled them out and poured BBQ sauce over them and baked them for another hour in the oven...they were FANTASTIC. Everyone raved about them, and pork haters loved them! (I don't mind pork, but am usually not a fan of ribs, these were good though!) Justin was hilarious because everytime someone walked in with a present for him he grabbed it from them and opened it - right then, so there were no pictures to be had of him opening presents because he just did it as they came....I guess it kept us from getting a huge mountain of wrapping paper. Thankfully he got lots of bath stuff, toys and all that, and this really cool Nemo toothbrush and holder and all of that, and it came with 2 toothbrushes so Jakey got one, and they were both excited to share the bath gifts.

All in all it was a great day, good friends, good food, good celebration! His cake was SOOOOO cute....the cookie monster cupcake cake turned out adorable, everyone commented on it, and at cutting time saw the benefits to a cupcake cake ("here's your cupcake!").

Now onto the matter at hand - not having a 3 year old in diapers anymore!

Last night, I was 15 again for a while!

Last night was SOOOOOOOO fun! We had dinner (with the grownups aka "old people" in our ward LOL) and then the lights went down and the disco ball went up, and the DJ cranked it up and all of us headed out to the dance floor in true "Youth Dance" style! We YMCA'ed, did the Electric Slide, and it was so fun!! We had a blast! And of course danced with our husbands on slow songs.

KARA! The last song was "When You Say Nothing At All" and I thought of you! During the last song I was holding my friend's baby (he's a cute little 4 month old!) while Kevin and I were dancing little Christian was between us, and man it did make me want a little one more than most moments....but eh, what can ya do!

Anyhow it was a total blast! Kevin and I were talking this morning that there should be a tri-stake (we have 3 stakes in our town) adult only dance every now and then so we can really have fun! The music was good and we didn't have to worry about inappropriate songs or anything, it was great! We even got some friends of ours that moved out of our ward to come to the dance last night, and a new young couple that's moving in to the ward next week to come!

Well now I have to go back to being a 25 year old mother of 2, who has to clean her house because lots of family and friends are coming over tomorrow for Justin's birthday dinner after church. And let me just say, my legs are telling me "You're not 15 anymore!" loud and clear!

"Hey Kev, leave the carseat on the porch please."

"Hey Kev, leave the carseat on the porch please."

"Hey Kev, leave the carseat on the porch please."

"Hey Kev, leave the carseat on the porch please."

"Don't forget, carseat on the porch, thanks!"

You'd think ONE of those would get through....ARGH. Now I have a ride to the park and only the smelliest old carseat we used to use that still fits Justin but STINKS from cat pee cause Kev never listened to the 300 times I told him to put THAT in the GARAGE. Well I sprayed Febreeze - that's all I can do. That and glare angrily at the stupid carseat.

Anyhow, it's Justin's birthday! So you can continue to find my morning humorous you'll be glad to know that my cupcake pan has disappeared and so to make "cupcakes" for the park I put cupcake liners in a 9X9 pan (9 of them) and now they're "square-cakes" They really look quite funny, Justin could care less, and I'm beyond embarassed! Everyone already kind of pokes fun at my cooking cause I am not the world's greatest cook and I don't even keep sugar or flour in my house, now everyone's gonna think I'm seriously awful at it. Sigh, I'm never gonna be Betty Crocker, or Sara Lee - I'm going to be the Go-To-Albertson's-And-Buy-Premade-Woman FOREVER. Who messes up CUPCAKES, ahem square-cakes?

And Justin's new habit for being 3:

J: Mom I'm peeing in my diaper.

Me: Well go to the potty then.

J: No, I think I'll just pee in my diaper.

Me: But you're 3 now, 3 year olds pee in the toilet.

J: Well maybe only 3 year olds who have Diego bikes do that.

I think I'm being blackmailed!!! I mean seriously, there have been a few times where his logic has been so there that I'm like, why aren't you potty trained yet, when you can think of all that. But now I'm convinced, he's blackmailing me!!!

Anyhow I have a 2nd batch of "Square-cakes" about to come out of the oven, do you think icing will help this situation? I should post a pic, but then you'll all laugh so hard you might get hurt, falling out of your chairs and such....oh man, I failed "Bake Your 3 Year Old Cupcakes For His Friends At The Park 101" - I'm such a failure!!!!

5 Things

Kara tagged me and I haven't figured out how to make her name a link to her blog, but she'll forgive me for it I'm sure.....so 5 things about me, I didn't do the original 5, (I don't think I was tagged?) sooooo here's my 5! I wonder if there are 5 things no one knows about me!

1. I dispise Top Ramen! I will not eat it, no matter how poor we ever get...I'd rather starve!

2. I love Days of our Lives and Passions - I don't watch every day - just 2-3 times a week - but I do read it online at www.soapoperafan.com whenever I miss!

3. Along the lines of Kara's so she won't feel so clutzy - I broke my big toe playing indoor soccer in highschool (2 weeks after I got my driver's permit!!!) and never had to take PE again, I had to do it out of a book - cause of insurance reasons. (by book I mean I had to learn the rules for football and other sports...just ask me what a 2 Pt conversion is! Or what professional sports teams names do NOT end with S!)

4. I slammed my leg in the car door this Sunday...it REALLY hurts now still on Thursday!

5. I'm afraid of escalators - like TERRIFIED of them. When I'm shopping I take the elevator. I can manage to go UP sometimes but NEVER down, it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it!

Ok so now you know how weird and clutzy I am! I tag Maren - and give her some time to do it because she's working - but she needs to update her blog anyways! :)

Sickies and Lysol

Man, Kara gave me her sicky-ness! ;) Yesterday my throat hurt, and my ears itched - I felt slowly all day long like I was getting worse and worse and worse and then last night it was into full blown SICK. The kind where you can't lay down or you won't be able to breathe. Not good. Kevin was off for 5 weeks, and I NEVER got sick, now he's back and work and I'm sicker than a dog! Not fun! And Justin's sharing this cold with me too - stinker!

Today is Justin's last day of being 2 years old! I can't believe that he's going to be 3, it's amazing how fast the last 3 years have flown by! I was hoping that he would be potty-trained by his 3rd birthday but I don't see that happening today - so um, guess not. LOL Funny thing is, he has ALWAYS done things based on his due date...like walking - he didn't walk until his due date (when he was 1) so he was 13.5 months old before he walked....he's always done things 6 weeks later....so I kinda wonder if PT will be the same, like his body just knows, he's not "really" 3 until March 25th? (A mommy can hope!)

Kevin's at work again today - working 6 am - 6 pm and the same tomorrow. I'm glad about that because Friday night we have a dinner/dance (adults only) that we want to go to, and he'll be off by 6:00 so while we'll probably be a few minutes late - we'll still get to go! And we have good reason to celebrate!

A friend was going to help me make Justin's birthday cake today - but we decided to put it off til Saturday because she's feeling the same way I am. We're gonna try either a pan cake of Cookie Monster or the cupcake thingy - or maybe both depending on how many people we think are going to be here Sunday afternoon. Right now the head count is around 25.

So those were just random, I'm going to go comment on everyone's blogs - don't worry I'll Lysol my keyboard before I leave a comment, I don't want you all getting sick! ;)

Guess where Kevin is?

AT WORK!


SIGH

That is me sighing a HUGE sigh of relief....I was at a friend in my ward's house when he called to tell me he was hired and staying there to work the rest of the day and they all said when I got off the phone (Kevin called me there) that I looked my age again and like a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders...trust me, it has!!

Well, at least I'm in a better mood today! I had a few moments that were rough, but overall I'm feeling pretty good today. Thank you for the comments about yesterday, I'm sure that prayers offered in our behalf are what's helping me to turn this around. We finally got the paperwork all straight for Kevin's check - so we should have it by Friday at the latest, we're REALLY hoping that it'll be here on Thursday. Some of our friends are offering to bring soda, or whatever small things they can to turn the birthday party into a "potluck" which is nice. There is a $20 bike at Walmart and Kevin swears that Justin won't care that Diego isn't on it as long as he gets a bike, so that's something I'm considering but I might see if my mom will help with it, cause I just feel like he doesn't ask for much, he should at least be able to have the bike he wants, yk? The guy said he'd have Kevin come in for the drive test today but never called back....so I just don't know...

In good news, I feel so crafty! I am NOT a crafty person AT ALL and I was asked to come up with the craft for tomorrow's Valentine's Day party we're having. Well after browsing a few things online, I came up with these adorable little potpurri satchel heart shaped thingies that hang from a door knob...and I had ON HAND everything but the ribbon, which I got for $1 at the $1 store! Yay! I made one to show the kids how to do it and it turned out really cute.

In other news, Jakey got a 100% on his spelling test, this is HUGE. He CANNOT spell at all, and is very literal with spelling, everything is very phoenetic...but he REMEMBERED!!! H-A-L-F spells half, and T-R-U-T-H spells truth!! Yay! I finally felt like I accomplished something as far as teaching him to spell goes.

Kevin and I spent one hour cleaning the house and it felt so good to just do it....I HATE cleaning and I'm SOOOO depressed right now but it really had to be done. Plus i'd just had a long phone conversation with a friend who's wearing a cast on her leg after foot surgery and she was cleaning her house and it made me feel like a slacker. LOL So we scrubbed for an hour and then played rock, paper, scissors to decide who would vacuum...I won! (I usually win, Kevin ALWAYS puts out scissors.)

Anyhow I had a few breakdowns today, especially when Justin would tell me how much he wants the Diego bike for his birthday, or when Jakey told us he's on the last boss on Kingdom Hearts (the first one) and really wants to get the 2nd one (isn't that lame to cry over?) and then I cried cause he's about to lose his front teeth and I keep hoping they hold out a little longer so that the toothfairy doesn't have to come right now. I'm overly emotional right now...it stinks.

Anyhow, I didn't want my last post to be the one that was up anymore - it's going to be ok. We'll just keep praying and paying our tithing and it'll be ok, I'm sure of it.

Right now, things are just not good. Kevin has got to get back to work.

He had a bit of a cold over the weekend and this morning he woke up and straight away called this guy who wanted him to come in for a drive test. Well, while Kevin is mostly over the cold, the very first few words you say while recovering from a cold should not be said to a prospective employee, then Kevin admitted to having been sick, and bam, the guy didn't want him to come in and do the drive test...he doesn't want to get sick. So I spent most of the day frustrated.

His work has STILL not paid us for hours he earned on January FREAKING 23rd, and any of his sick or the rest of his vacation time. On Friday he told me that he would have a check overnighted to him, and then today I hear him on the phone with a guy when I told him to check on it and he was JUST NOW requesting it...I just don't know what to do...I know that he's not telling me things cause he doesn't want me to stress but I'm about to freakin explode if I find out one more thing was a "half" truth or what I consider a LIE.

We finally reached the bottom of our "barrel" we only had savings for 4 weeks, today started week 5...bills are due. I had to suck it up and ask my mom for help. I'm devestated. I'm cleaning her house for some money, and I had to ask her for more. I feel horrible. Then to top it off Valentine's Day is in 2 days and while I have no intentions of buying Kevin ANYTHING, I want to be able to afford $3-4 at the DOLLAR STORE to buy some crafty stuff for the boys for Valentine's party we're having with another family that's homeschooled. Justin's birthday is friday and all he wants is a Diego bike...I have planned on getting it for him but we just CANNOT afford the $65 bike and helmet and all that right now...I don't even know how we'll afford a party for him, supposedly everyone's coming on Sunday at 3:00 I don't know what I'm going to serve them - or where I'll get the $$ for a present for him.

So there you have it, the whole truth. It's hard to hear, it's hard to live, it's hard to type. I'm so scared that we'll lose something (Power, phone, our car, our HOUSE) that I can barely eat or sleep. No, we haven't talked to the bishop. My mom said that we could, if we wanted, but she would rather help us as long as she can. I just don't know what we're gonna do...when someone is going to hire Kevin, or what I should do. I feel like I can't sit here and watch my life fall apart and I can't do much to stop it...not many people realistically are looking to pay a decent wage to someone who hasn't worked in 4 years.

I shouldn't even post this, it's very raw, and it hurts to tell others what's going on, but this is real right now, it's really what's happening, and it really sucks.

Another Update

Kevin's still not working, but there are tons of interviews, background checks, drug tests, physicals, etc. going on right now. We're at the phase where we don't want to put all of our eggs in anyone's basket, so we're just going through the process with everyone. We have 3 options right now.

Option 1: On call mostly - you do get your 40 hours, plus some, but you might have to work some Sundays here and there and go out of town 1-2 days a week. Pays really well, decent benefits but not for 3 months.

Option 2: Monday - Friday 5am to when the route is over delivering beverages. Pay is decent, benefits are entirely paid for for our whole family by the employer, will never work on Sunday because the beverage is beer and it's illegal to deliver beer on a Sunday. (And people say Californian's have no morals! Lookie there we have a law about delivering beer on Sunday!) But in case you missed it - it's delivering BEER. Hmmmmm.... Kevin had an extensive interview with this guy and he said he's had a few LDS people work there and it conflicts them greatly but they obviously don't drink the stuff and are grateful when they have a load full of mostly other stuff besides beer. And they usually go union and deliver for Pepsi (go figure! LOL) within a few years of experience from his company.

Option 3: Great schedule Monday - Friday 8-5 and saturdays 8-2 but not very good pay, insurance doesn't start for 6 months, and Kevin would have to work 6 days just for us to HOPEFULLY make it.

We're probably leaning towards 1 or I hate to say it 2....I don't know yet.

That's about it for us, this job thing has been pretty all consuming. Hopefully something turns into "come to work today" for him.

Thou Shalt Blog.

I feel like even though not much is going on, I should still blog...so here I am!

Well our cycle of Clomid, didn't work. Ho hum, whatcha gonna do though? I have another refill of Clomid but I'm not doing it this cycle, and I'll explain why a little bit further into this post. I was frustrated but at least my cycle was like clock work and I didn't have much guessing. I decided also that cycling every 30 days-ish, soooooo not what it's cracked up to be! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm sure he's going to pressure me into more IUI's and injectible drugs, etc. but right now isn't a very good time.

Kevin's work has been exceptionally slow, in fact today begins week four of NO WORK. It'd be fine and all, you know, if the kids didn't like eating or living in a house. But they do so we've been busting our hiney's trying to get him a job somewhere else. We filed for unemployment for lack of hours and the city interview came and went and a little letter came in the mail on Friday that said "We've decided not to include your name in the recommendations for new hires." That really devestated Kevin, he's never interviewed for a job he hasn't gotten. He just sits there and says "what did I do wrong?" I try to reassure him that it's probably nothing HE did but maybe they had a ton of people apply with more years of experience or something. He doesn't buy that. Today he's at a temp agency, and later he has 2 interviews. If nothing solid comes from those, like "ok be here tomorrow at 8:00 am for work" then he'll be going back to work for Halliburton through the temp agency. I hated when he worked for Halliburton before, it's ALOT of hours. Like 100+ hours a week....you LIVE on site until a job is done, so he'll be like 10 miles from home, and not able to get cell service (middle of the desert on an oil rig) and not be able to come home for 24-72 hours at a time. Not my idea of fun. So, hopefully something else pans out.

And this would be the reason why we're not going to do fertility treatments for a few months. Obviously it's just not a good time. I won't be taking birth control (that would be an even bigger waste of money) so something could happen, but likely it won't. I'm upset about it, but in a way relieved. I went to the park with some friends on Friday, but this time some more sisters from my ward were able to make it, and there are alot of them that are DONE having babies. Seeing them, and being around people I know aren't going to have more, I realized, maybe it's not so bad to watch the last one phase out of things and be relieved that you don't have to do that again, yk? Maybe I should just look at Justin as though he's my last and enjoy it and get excited about the phases yet to come. Enjoy having older children and more freedom that comes with that and stop resenting those who have babies and I don't. Most of these other women are coming at this phase in their mid-late 30's and after having 5+ children, but there is no reason why after 8 years of "child bearing" and only 2 children, I can't move on. I actually felt kind of peaceful about it. I held a baby, and it cried and I didn't long to have a baby that I could nurse when handing it back to it's mother, I was inside a little happy that I didn't have to lift my shirt up in 40 degree weather to nurse him! LOL So maybe I'm getting out of this phase? We'll see how these next few months of "not trying" go.

We signed the boys up with a program through Kaiser so they're going to have insurance (relatively cheap for private!) and we're buying COBRA for me (and Kevin) because private insurance won't touch me with a 10 foot pole, so it's COBRA, but it's not too bad, by not having the boys on it, we're paying just as much for it as we were through payroll at Kevin's employer, so it's not the end of the world.

What else is there to update on? I just did Jakey's report card from the 2nd quarter and end of the 1st semester of school. He is at grade level in a lot of things, and approaching it in the others....he's not above or below grade level which is just fine with me. That's exactly how he has always been, average, and that's good. He enjoys homeschooling and so I think we're going to do it again next year...hopefully we finish this year LOL starting in October really messed us up, but we're getting there.

Justin's still not potty trained. He will go, on his terms. And he WILL NOT poop in the toilet, only pee. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do with him, but his reasoning skills are getting better every day so hopefully along with that will come the "able to be bribed" skill set so I can work on this...LOL

Anyhow it's time to teach Jakey school and clean the house a bit, before Kevin gets back from looking for work. I hope something pans out.