Thou Shalt Blog.

I feel like even though not much is going on, I should still blog...so here I am!

Well our cycle of Clomid, didn't work. Ho hum, whatcha gonna do though? I have another refill of Clomid but I'm not doing it this cycle, and I'll explain why a little bit further into this post. I was frustrated but at least my cycle was like clock work and I didn't have much guessing. I decided also that cycling every 30 days-ish, soooooo not what it's cracked up to be! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm sure he's going to pressure me into more IUI's and injectible drugs, etc. but right now isn't a very good time.

Kevin's work has been exceptionally slow, in fact today begins week four of NO WORK. It'd be fine and all, you know, if the kids didn't like eating or living in a house. But they do so we've been busting our hiney's trying to get him a job somewhere else. We filed for unemployment for lack of hours and the city interview came and went and a little letter came in the mail on Friday that said "We've decided not to include your name in the recommendations for new hires." That really devestated Kevin, he's never interviewed for a job he hasn't gotten. He just sits there and says "what did I do wrong?" I try to reassure him that it's probably nothing HE did but maybe they had a ton of people apply with more years of experience or something. He doesn't buy that. Today he's at a temp agency, and later he has 2 interviews. If nothing solid comes from those, like "ok be here tomorrow at 8:00 am for work" then he'll be going back to work for Halliburton through the temp agency. I hated when he worked for Halliburton before, it's ALOT of hours. Like 100+ hours a week....you LIVE on site until a job is done, so he'll be like 10 miles from home, and not able to get cell service (middle of the desert on an oil rig) and not be able to come home for 24-72 hours at a time. Not my idea of fun. So, hopefully something else pans out.

And this would be the reason why we're not going to do fertility treatments for a few months. Obviously it's just not a good time. I won't be taking birth control (that would be an even bigger waste of money) so something could happen, but likely it won't. I'm upset about it, but in a way relieved. I went to the park with some friends on Friday, but this time some more sisters from my ward were able to make it, and there are alot of them that are DONE having babies. Seeing them, and being around people I know aren't going to have more, I realized, maybe it's not so bad to watch the last one phase out of things and be relieved that you don't have to do that again, yk? Maybe I should just look at Justin as though he's my last and enjoy it and get excited about the phases yet to come. Enjoy having older children and more freedom that comes with that and stop resenting those who have babies and I don't. Most of these other women are coming at this phase in their mid-late 30's and after having 5+ children, but there is no reason why after 8 years of "child bearing" and only 2 children, I can't move on. I actually felt kind of peaceful about it. I held a baby, and it cried and I didn't long to have a baby that I could nurse when handing it back to it's mother, I was inside a little happy that I didn't have to lift my shirt up in 40 degree weather to nurse him! LOL So maybe I'm getting out of this phase? We'll see how these next few months of "not trying" go.

We signed the boys up with a program through Kaiser so they're going to have insurance (relatively cheap for private!) and we're buying COBRA for me (and Kevin) because private insurance won't touch me with a 10 foot pole, so it's COBRA, but it's not too bad, by not having the boys on it, we're paying just as much for it as we were through payroll at Kevin's employer, so it's not the end of the world.

What else is there to update on? I just did Jakey's report card from the 2nd quarter and end of the 1st semester of school. He is at grade level in a lot of things, and approaching it in the others....he's not above or below grade level which is just fine with me. That's exactly how he has always been, average, and that's good. He enjoys homeschooling and so I think we're going to do it again next year...hopefully we finish this year LOL starting in October really messed us up, but we're getting there.

Justin's still not potty trained. He will go, on his terms. And he WILL NOT poop in the toilet, only pee. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do with him, but his reasoning skills are getting better every day so hopefully along with that will come the "able to be bribed" skill set so I can work on this...LOL

Anyhow it's time to teach Jakey school and clean the house a bit, before Kevin gets back from looking for work. I hope something pans out.