When Justin was born Kevin and I gave up alot of "conveniences" in order for me to be able to be a SAHM. Bye bye cable, bye bye 2nd car, bye bye cellphones, bye bye LOTS of things. One thing I now believe we shouldn't have given up - 2nd car.

I seriously cannot handle the isolation anymore. It was ok for a while, he drove over the road and so I had the car because he wasn't even home. Then he worked in Shafter but they let him bring his truck home because of our proximity to the I-5. Now he works somewhere that will not let him take home a truck, so he has to have our car, and he works such odd hours there is just no way of telling when he'll go to work and when he'll be off, so I don't take him to/from work.

I just can't handle the screech Justin makes when Jakey has annoyed him, or Jakey coming in screaming hysterically because Justin finally got tired of putting up with what he does to him and hit him right in the face. At this point I don't even feel like punishing Justin for hitting Jakey because honestly - he deserves it. I do, but I don't think I agree with myself about doing it. LOL I want them to learn to work their problems out without shrieking, hitting, or telling me!!!

I'm staying up til REALLY late at night just so I can be ALONE. Then I'm exhausted when they want to get up the next morning and I'm probably even more short tempered so I'm sure it's a vicious cycle at this point.

Thank Goodness, my mom's last day of work is next Friday....she'll take us to get out of the house, keep the boys some nights, it should get better, at least for the summer. Our primary car needs smogging, tagging, front axles, and new tires before we can buy a new one though, so that puts off getting a new car even longer. I could just cry. :(

Please, no more fighting today. And PLEASE let Justin take a good nap!!!