Right now, things are just not good. Kevin has got to get back to work.

He had a bit of a cold over the weekend and this morning he woke up and straight away called this guy who wanted him to come in for a drive test. Well, while Kevin is mostly over the cold, the very first few words you say while recovering from a cold should not be said to a prospective employee, then Kevin admitted to having been sick, and bam, the guy didn't want him to come in and do the drive test...he doesn't want to get sick. So I spent most of the day frustrated.

His work has STILL not paid us for hours he earned on January FREAKING 23rd, and any of his sick or the rest of his vacation time. On Friday he told me that he would have a check overnighted to him, and then today I hear him on the phone with a guy when I told him to check on it and he was JUST NOW requesting it...I just don't know what to do...I know that he's not telling me things cause he doesn't want me to stress but I'm about to freakin explode if I find out one more thing was a "half" truth or what I consider a LIE.

We finally reached the bottom of our "barrel" we only had savings for 4 weeks, today started week 5...bills are due. I had to suck it up and ask my mom for help. I'm devestated. I'm cleaning her house for some money, and I had to ask her for more. I feel horrible. Then to top it off Valentine's Day is in 2 days and while I have no intentions of buying Kevin ANYTHING, I want to be able to afford $3-4 at the DOLLAR STORE to buy some crafty stuff for the boys for Valentine's party we're having with another family that's homeschooled. Justin's birthday is friday and all he wants is a Diego bike...I have planned on getting it for him but we just CANNOT afford the $65 bike and helmet and all that right now...I don't even know how we'll afford a party for him, supposedly everyone's coming on Sunday at 3:00 I don't know what I'm going to serve them - or where I'll get the $$ for a present for him.

So there you have it, the whole truth. It's hard to hear, it's hard to live, it's hard to type. I'm so scared that we'll lose something (Power, phone, our car, our HOUSE) that I can barely eat or sleep. No, we haven't talked to the bishop. My mom said that we could, if we wanted, but she would rather help us as long as she can. I just don't know what we're gonna do...when someone is going to hire Kevin, or what I should do. I feel like I can't sit here and watch my life fall apart and I can't do much to stop it...not many people realistically are looking to pay a decent wage to someone who hasn't worked in 4 years.

I shouldn't even post this, it's very raw, and it hurts to tell others what's going on, but this is real right now, it's really what's happening, and it really sucks.