I am usually an "It is what it is" kind of person, coupled with a little bit of worry for things I cannot change, but for the most part while I fret, I completely understand alot of things are out of my control. The past few days I have a general feeling of unrest, as though I'm waiting for the "other shoe to drop". I'm not even sure why. There isn't any one thing in particular that is so out of order it should keep me worried, but I just feel "uneasy".
First, apparently because I was not a full time student this past semester, I'm not eligible to enroll until regular enrollment on May 8th, priority registration began April 15th. I've been frantically watching the class I NEED fill up. Originally there were 45 seats and now there are 37 left, I know there are still plenty of seats but gosh it's like 2.5 more weeks until I can even think about registering. There is a waitlist of 10, but I worry I won't even get on that!
Second, I really dislike Jayden's pediatrician. I know more about breastfeeding and vaccines I think than this woman. Due to our insurance issues I don't have much choice but to take her to see this lady and I don't like it at all, so I paid cash for her to see her old ped at her 4 month check up and now she's days away from 6 months and 6 weeks away from being on a different insurance and I'm thinking of just waiting until the new insurance starts rather than take her back to this pediatrician or pay cash for another visit. We've decided to delay her vaccinations so that's not an issue. So that weighs heavily on my mind.
Third, I am worried about how Jayden is going to do this summer. She's starting to really reach her stranger danger time, even not so strangers are causing her alligator tears. She doesn't want to sit with anyone unless I'm in the room, if I get up at all she FREAKS OUT and screams until I come back into the room. She reaches for me and it's just so pitiful. It's nice to feel wanted, but I don't want her to be miserable this summer.
Fourth, I'm stuck in a diet rut...no change this week. I know I'm messing up here and there and it's my own fault, I need to stiffen up and work harder, it's just hard. I have a food addiction and it's very hard for me to get past.
Fifth, the set up of my living room is making it hard to clean. I really need to move the furniture around, the way it is it doesn't flow nicely and I have a hard time keeping it clean because I don't really like being in there. All the other rooms are clean, just not the living room.
Sixth, I worry about our car breaking down - alot. It's to the point where I'm afraid to drive it while alone. Kevin has replaced so much under the hood and the check engine light is off, but still, it seems like I shouldn't trust that car to run.
Finally, I worry about Jakey and Justin. Do I do enough with them? Have I taught them anything? Do I listen enough to them? Am I a good example to them? Did I remember to have Justin use the toilet before bed to cut down on the nighttime pee?
Well Tylenol PM and I'm off to bed - to stress.
Week 26: Recovering
5 years ago
5 comments:
Sounds like you had a LOT of different things on your mind! I hope you were able to rest okay and things look better in the morning.
As for registering for your class, if it's anything like my college classes, you could almost ALWAYS get a spot ... though sometimes you would have to wait until the day (or the day after!) classes started. Some people like to reserve spots in more classes they know they are going to take. Crossing my fingers you don't have to wait that long to register, though!
I say you ought to wait until insurance changes and go to the other pediatrician. If she gets sick and NEEDS a doctor in the meantime, you can go to the lady you don't like (better that than nothing). But I've been late on well-checks and it hasn't been a big deal.
Sorry about all the worries; I don't blame you for stressing (that happens to me a lot!) -- I hope they seem better in the morning (mine usually do).
I would wait for the insurance change too. A good pediatrician is a must for young babies because they go in so often.
I'm sure everything will work out you school-wise. Good luck and I hope you have a better day today. *HUGS*
I could have written most of your post. Hopefully things will look better in the morning. I would wait for the insurance change too. It's hard when you don' tlike y our pediatrician. I love mine so much I think I'd drive back down to him if we ever move.
I'm stuck in a diet rut too. I keep telling myself I'm gaining muscle but I don't really think that's it.
I'm sorry you have so much going on that's stressing you out. :(
I really hope you get the class you want. I always hated having to register and worry...my fingers are crossed for you.
Stranger anxiety is a pain and I'm right in the middle of it here...and we're about to do a 30 hour drive to see family back East and I just know she's going to cling to me and hurt their feelings. Gah!
Good luck with everything!
Oh, and I don't think I ever answered your question about the show on HGTV. The person on it wasn't from LM...she is from the other message board I go to. :)
Wow! You have too much free time if you have time to think of all these things. It is what it is......Jayden will continue to go through stages but you know that she will adjust. The boys are fine or they would tell you. Have Kevin help you rearrnage the living room. Ask for his opinion. Men like that. All diets reach a plateau. Don't give up on yourself.
You will get the classes you need when the time is right. You really have no control over that. You are stressing yourself out. Do your best. No one expects any more than that. Hang in there, kiddo. I'm pulling for you. We're all in this life together....
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