Today Kevin and I were talking while I drove him to work about Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy. She's 16. Last week a friend in my ward told me that her daughter (17, will be 18 in a few weeks) is 23 weeks pregnant. Today I was watching the Today show and something was said that like 75% of all teen pregnancies happen in the girl's home between the hours of 3 pm and 6 pm!
I got pregnant at 17, almost 18 and things definitely turned out ok for me. But that was because Kevin was ready to grow up and take care of us, things could have turned out so much worse. (And I think a little, we wanted to prove the world wrong, so in the harder more awful days of our marriage that motivated us to make it work, LOL.)
The girl in my ward that is pregnant, I really feel for her. She has the gospel, she KNOWS. She plans on marrying her 16 year old boyfriend (when he can legally marry her) and raising the baby. Neither of them has a job. This just makes me so sad. I mean I know, I know I could not have placed my baby for adoption, but I like to think that if I knew that Kevin wasn't going to be able to marry me and support us and create a family for our child that I would have been selfless enough to place my baby for adoption with a family that could have given him everything. But I don't know. I might not have been. And I see this girl and think, what are you doing?? Plus the formerly infertile side of me screams "holy cow, that is SO not fair." Thank goodness I have Jayden because a year ago this would have sent me to the loony bin. I don't really want to say much to her (even though I've been encouraged to) because I don't want her to think her situation is going to turn out like mine because likely, it's not going to.
And Jamie Lynn? What were her parents thinking letting her live with her boyfriend?! We were listening to a radio show this morning that was talking about it which is why we were having the conversation and they said that Lynn Spears (her mother) is writing a parenting book, um a What NOT To Do guide? But mostly the point that hit home about Jamie Lynn was that how can their mother really parent them when they don't "need" her for housing, money, food - they are providing for themselves so what is she going to do? I mean obviously not letting your children have a career would alleviate this problem altogether but some young stars turn out fine...not too many though.
Kevin and I had long been thinking I would go back to work as soon as our youngest child entered Kindergarten and now I'm thinking that they might need me more once they're in school then they did when they were babies! I definitely don't think I'll be going back to work until they're grown. Plus my children are something like three times more likely to have a teen pregnancy because I had one then most children. That's a scary thought! Especially since I know my friend is providing a good home for her daughter, and is a SAHM and her daughter got pregnant. (Granted my friend is her stepmother and she and her husband have custody of her and she went to visit her mother for the summer in another state and got pregnant while she was there.)
Jakey asked me the other day if everyone is poor when they get married and we had a talk about how you can go on your mission, come home, go to college and get a job and then get married, or at least be sure to focus on going to college and that people who go to college make more money than those who don't usually, so hopefully those thoughts stick with him. We have a bell to "unring" of sorts because Jakey is actually IN our wedding photos.
Week 26: Recovering
5 years ago
5 comments:
I have heard that statistic, too, about teens' immorality issues happening right after school. It is sad. :-( But I DIDN'T know Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant or that her mom was writing a parenting book -- YIPE.
My mom went back to work when we were all in school, but she mostly did part-time stuff so she could be home with us. I am glad.
I definitely think it's important to ground your kids in the gospel as early as possible -- because "if you train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it." Even when things look bleak for us in these latter days, we have to remember -- we have strong spirits sent to our families who CAN withstand temptation, and we ARE on the winning side!
It makes me sad when I hear about teen pregnancies. You're right, most don't turn out like yours. I'm glad you and Kevin were ready to grow up together because you have a great home and you're children are lucky to have you. I don't plan on working full time until my kids are grown. When they're all in school I think I might get a part time job, but only if it allows me to be home when they leave for school and be back before they get home from school. So who knows. I was raised by babysitters for hours a day because my dad was a big dork and didn't support us so my mom had to work. I turned out ok, but I don't want my kids to have that. So basically after all my longwindedness comment I'm saying...good choice on wanting to be the one to raise your kids. LOL!
Dawn- I think you are so cool. It takes a strong and mature person to make lemonade out of trials and mistakes. I just admire you that you and Kevin are where you are today. It says a lot about who you are. Thanks for the example.
wow.... this is a good post... lots of deep thoughts.
i had many friends in high school that got pregnant. some aborted, some gave their baby up for adoption, and many kept them...
wow... tough world...
I think that a woman's most important job is raising her children. Parents today are so busy earning enough money to support their children that they are expecting their care providers to give their kids the proper up-bringing. So their kids grow up with their care providers' set of values/vices. And there are far too many parents that are just plain neglectful--wrapped up in themselves--too immature to be parents---trapped by their own personal demons. Teenagers left alone too much--split families trying to share children--teenagers expected to be responsible for more than they are ready for....I'm not so sure that all the progress society is supposedly making is worth what we are losing!!!!
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