Well it's Saturday morning and I'm trying to compile a "to do" list for myself.

What I want to do:

* sleep in (already not accomplished)
* go back to sleep (probably not going to happen)
* build a fire to keep warm (can't do this, it's a "no burn day")
* stay in jammies all day (for sure not going to do this, we have our ward Christmas dinner tonight)


What I have to do:

* Clean the house (we're having friends over after church tomorrow)
* make Peanut Butter Bon bons (we're bringing them to the church tonight for the dinner)
* finish Jakey's Shepard costume
* get everyone dressed and looking good for tonight's dinner

Kevin has to work today. Last night we were talking and he kept saying "it's my weekend" to work, well Kevin hasn't NOT worked a weekend since the weekend I gave birth to Jayden, so that was 7 weeks ago. He's supposed to be rotating with two other people and I told him I'm getting tired of him keeping them "company" that we're just as important as his job and while I want him to do a good job, he needs to find the line between "doing a good job" and "not making his family a priority" and get on the family side of it. It's frustrating for me because I've been out of the workforce for so long, I guess I fail to understand, but I truly think that he spends more time then he needs to at work doing things that aren't necessary. How am I gauging this - it's just a hint, but his cellphone has a picture of a female coworker doing a cartwheel on it. That's not required activities and well kind of makes me mad. Like if they weren't doing cartwheels he wouldn't be working 80 hours a week. Then I was uploading pictures of Jayden from my camera and found pictures of his female coworkers posing at his desk. I'm not jealous in that I think there's anything going on, I think Kevin was too lazy to leave his own office to take a picture, LOL, but if less picture taking were going on, and say these women were at THEIR desks, more work might get done? But I digress, he provides for our family and that is important, I just wish that we were a bit more of a priority, at least once every seven weeks.

Anyhow I guess I really needed to get that off my chest. The boys woke up having not seen their father since yesterday morning when we took him to work (if he'd had his company truck it would have been Thursday night since he last saw them) and they were devastated. And I'm worn out because by the time he gets home on Friday nights Jayden's already in bed and I've been the one taking care of her for the past 24 hours, there's nothing he can really do for her between the hours of 11 PM and 6 AM (when he leaves for work) and so I'm going to be on my own again until he gets home tonight.

Well I must go protect the Christmas tree from the three year old, convince the eight year old he needs to clean his room even if his brother made some of the mess and nurse our newborn for several hours (growth spurt).