The Aftermath

Look at my title, I'm getting all dramatic. Must be all that reading I've been doing. I'm on page 471 of Eclipse...I finally found and read New Moon, then yesterday spent the day searching high and low for Eclipse and now I'm almost done. Good thing #4 comes out in August!

Anyhow...the aftermath...

She was upset, but it wasn't so bad. And my stepdad was most understand and actually drove the van over to my house and traded her cars so we had the carseat. It worked out pretty good. She did spend alot of time talking about how rediculous the carseat laws are, blah blah blah, but I told her I won't ever forgive her if something happens and Jayden isn't buckled in, accidents happen, and if we did everything we could ok, but I truly don't think I'd ever get over it and nothing is more important than her safety.

So now I'm home snug and warm with my kiddos. Kev is away, I hate that! I really dislike sleeping without him here to protect us. Not that anything's going to happen but I slept terribly last night because we had crazy high winds (75 mph) and the metal roof of our back porch (so ghetto, LOL) was clanging so loudly in this one spot that was torn. We have a rod iron gate thingy in our front yard and it blew over too, crazy! Our landlords are in our ward and asked if the house was ok from the storm yesterday and I told them what had happened and that I can't pick up the rod iron thingy and so they came over and the husband righted the blown over thing and fixed it and said he'd be back Tuesday to fix the porch roof so it's not so loud in the wind.

Now, onto the new ward. It was doubly hard because Kevin wasn't there today with me, so I had all three kids alone. But I really felt like an outsider today. We went into the chapel and sat down and no one talked to us...the bishop even came down and was shaking hands with the people behind us, and didn't make eye contact or talk to me or anything and we've never been introduced because last week was ward conference. But even the women...I mean some of it was explained later in the meeting by their releasing the whole Primary Presidency and reorganizing it (whew! dodged that! LOL) so I'm sure some of the ladies were preoccupied thinking of their new or past callings.

Anyhow, then the boys went to Primary with no fussing! Yay for that! and Jayden and I went to Gospel Doctrine. I had to have been the youngest person in the room by a good 20 years, and Jayden was talking really loudly. The only seat available was next to this lady who was probably about 50, she gave Jayden that sideways "oh look a baby" smile and was about to turn back to the lesson when Jayden LAUNCHED the entire contents of her tummy all over this lady (she was facing sideways)...the lady looked like she had just been shot or something...I handed her a fresh burp cloth but I don't think it helped much. She went and washed up but that baby puke leaves a smell that stays with you. I felt so horrible I went and sat in the foyer ready to cry because already no one likes/talks/looks at me, and now my baby just puked on the only person who would even sit with me! I sat there REALLY trying not to cry. I missed my old ward, Kevin, everything so much then. Finally Jayden fell asleep.

Then I went to Relief Society which was held in a different room this Sunday because it was Visiting Teaching Conference and the men had taken over all the women's callings so all the women in the ward were there. Eventually Jayden woke up and did her howler monkey impression until I took her to the back of the room to stand. There were two other mothers my age bouncing babies and I was excited that maybe one would talk to me when the program was over, but they huddled together and started talking and didn't look at me.

In all fairness the RS President does know me, has introduced me, and does say hi to me whenever she sees me - I met her last summer while swimming at my mom's house because my mom used to be in this ward, so I do know her. I do know my mom's closest friends but I don't have a whole lot in common with these women - they all have grown children - like my mom...and they're great, but they're also busy because in this ward they seem to have the busy on Sunday type callings. The wife of our landlord couple saves me a seat in RS, but I don't know her very well and she bolts when RS is over. And when it was brought up that the Enrichment Activity for this month conflicts with the Blue and Gold dinner the sister in charge of Enrichment didn't sound very enthused at the idea to change it. (Which after this month will still be a problem - it's Pack Meeting night, I'll never get to go to Enrichment, therefore never meet anyone!)

I did get a Visiting Teaching route. As most of you know, the names/ages of the children of who you visit teach are on the list and one lady on my list has two young children so I'm excited to meet her...the other sister is inactive from what I was told. I did meet my Visiting Teachers, they seem nice.

I don't know how much of it is me just missing my old ward, and missing being a *ward member* the kind who knows everyone and about everything and is serving right alongside the others, and how much of it is not feeling that welcomed into the new ward. Maybe it's both? Well, I don't know, but I hope it changes...I just feel so...alone.