Gosh, I cry alot!

I'm trying not to worry. It's hard to go from having people walking around you checking you and making sure you're ok to just kind of sitting here hoping you're fine. I called the doctor's office and asked when I should come in and the whole thing to the nurse and she talked to the doctor and comes back on the line and says, "he said for you to come in Friday." I'm kind of feeling like just dumped off to hopefully do ok, yk? And I mentioned my bp and nothing, it's fine, he'll see me Friday. So on one hand I'm so glad to be able to rest in my bed and not have to deal with all the monitoring and so on, I'm so stressed that I'm going to dialate further and it'll be too late to do anything to stop it. So I cry.

Then I think about all the other people taking care of the boys, and I cry.

The fact that the kitchen floor needs mopped and the dishes in the dishwasher didn't really come clean from when Kev "washed" them, and I cry.

Yep, I cry.

Ugh. I am totally hormonal about all this. And then on the other hand, I'm really trying, I'm staying down, taking my meds, drinking water, and still contracting...and worrying....and crying. I wish I had a crystal ball that told me what's going to happen, good or bad, whatever so I could just know - so I could prepare and plan, and not just hope and pray. Ugh.